April 19, 2012

Change is the Only Constant Thing In this World

I have always wondered how it feels like to have more than one child. I thought the Love would be divided. Such a fool to only realize now that the formula is multiplication. I have always been poor with math. But despite the abundance of Love that I am feeling, I found myself crying buckets of tears the other night. Mourning the death of an era when it was just me and my little bestfriend.  

I thought I was emotionally ready to have a new baby. I didn't realize that it entails saying goodbye to my solo moments with my eldest son. My solo moments with him, where nobody and nothing else matter but him. 

It just hit me like a dead end. There is no turning back.  

Luckily, I have a dozen years worth of precious moments with him. I'm still teary-eyed just thinking about it. We were once robots, we dove inside books together, we really are the best of buds. 

Now my prince will share his mother with his feisty dragon brother. I know he's not at all bothered by this new arrangement. After all, he did wish for a sibling and he'll be a teenager in a few months time. There will be so many changes happening soon. He is about to cross another bridge and enter another chapter of his life... Just when his mother is busy with someone else.  

Alas, it is his father's turn to build him now. It his father's duty to make a good male teenager out of him. Now is their time to have their own private jokes, their own nasty secrets, their own journey. Just like what his father did for the past years, I'll be by their side, not really an active player. Rather, a coach or a guide of some sort. At most times, probably just a spectator. 
By the time I emerge from the stage where I am done rearing the dragon (and hopefully a princess too), he'll be a man. No longer my Little Prince. Something I failed to foresee as part of the Big Change.

But such is Life. The only thing constant is change. Anicha. Anicha. Law of Impermanence. What arises will soon shall pass...

I closed a chapter with a heavy melancholic Heart but that doesn't discount the fact that the Little Prince and I are off to another exciting adventure... One which includes our Little Feisty Dragon.

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