A Perfect Weekend

The barren land that we are on is only visible in the middle of the year.
The rest of the year, it is under the lake.

We were blessed enough to have another shot of a great summer weekend when an old friend of ours decided to celebrate his birthday in Pantabangan Lake in Nueva Ecija, which is a good 3.5 hours away from Metro Manila. He and his lovely wife invited our little family for the weekend, and despite our superheavymega-grabesobrangdami workload, we decided to go for it since school was about to start for my teen.

And we are so glad we made an effort to go. It is surely one of the best weekends we ever had.

Our two planned summer vacations (Subic and Bali) were a bit hard for us because, as luck would have it, on both trips my boys were really sick. I thank the Universe for giving us another chance to enjoy ourselves under the summer sun with great friends, great food, and a mind-blowing view.

My husband, who is always within the confines of The Big and Nasty Corporate World, melted on the hammock and couldn’t get enough of the view of the seemingly placid lake. I was so happy to see him relax and truly enjoy. He stared at the wild animals which were all grazing within his view, amazed by the dogs that were instinctively herding wild beasts (horses, goats, and cows). I have never seen him so relaxed and happy! My husband is quite the Negatron and quite the ever-paranoid, ever-stressed kind of guy. To see him chilling under the trees brought joy in my heart. He truly deserved that. 

Sitting on top of what is left of an old church, part of a submerged town. Visible only when the water level is low.

My teen soaked up the fresh air and the grand view and decided almost instantly that he loves the place and even declared that he wants to spend his birthday there (too bad this is not possible, his birthday is on New Years Eve). At first I was afraid that my teen would sulk all weekend since adults and three little girls surrounded him. I was wrong. Completely forgot he’s a nature-boy despite his head being full of World of Warcraft, DotA, and MineCraft. Also, his “Kuya-ness” kicked in, he truly enjoyed playing and chatting with our friends’ super cute, super loveable, super adorable daughters.

My baby also had a grand time! He enjoyed exploring a new terrain. It was his first time to truly walk on grass and dirt. At first I thought my control-freak husband would get mad at us for letting the baby sit on the dirt but he was all smiles! He even chuckled when our son did a Jack tumble on a small slope! Our toddler went crazy with the pine cones, he picked (and threw) every cone he saw despite its thorny nature. 

We enjoyed the food which were all lovingly prepared by the birthday boy and his family. We had an array of food - from fresh green salad with Japanese sesame dressing to roasted suckling pig to lobsters from the nearby sea to Tom Yum Gai (Thai hot and sour soup) which were all lip-smackingly good. We even had goat in the form of caldereta (tomato-based stew) and dinuguan (blood stew)! 

After a relaxing full body massage, I had the chance to sit down with our friend and we capped the night with great conversation. Before sleeping, my husband and I talked and reflected for a bit and we agreed that it was only just then we realized how much we missed our friend.

We planted a tree before we left. See you soon, our dear tree!

It is probably general knowledge that when you are a mother, your happiness greatly depends on the happiness of your husband and children (although I am all for the school of thought that we are our own captains of ourselves, therefore SHOULD BE in complete control of our own happiness yadda yadda, but as far as motherhood goes, I guess you get what I am trying to say).  Suffice to say my boys were all really happy = I was really happy. Their happiness mean so much to me and I am really glad that I chose this trip over working non-stop for the weekend. I knew my Monday would be hell (why hello there big-pile-of-work-that-was-neglected-over-the-weekend!) but it was worth it.

I am happy that my husband and I made time for our friend and his family. Weekends like these don’t come everyday (err, every weekend). Don’t be a slave of your “busy schedule”, children grow up too fast, and yet work will always have the same intensity and rhythm. Learn when to say “no” to work and when to say “yes” to an opportunity such as this. I believe they’re gifts from the Universe. Accept graciously, sit back, enjoy.

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Thank you to our friend who invited us. Please extend our thanks to your wonderful family. We really had a perfect weekend and we owe it all to you.

Click 'read more' for more pictures!

Bali With Children

The Fam Bam in Bali, Indonesia

My family just came from Bali, Indonesia. The first time we knew that we were going there our first question was: “What are we going to do in Bali?”

 

We have been to the beautiful shores of Bohol and Boracay as a family and we believe they’re better than what we can find in Bali (or any other places in the world to be honest) that’s why we were skeptical. My parents, who are frequent visitors of Bali, replied nonchalantly: “FOR CULTURE”! You know what we said to that? I’m not kidding you, we replied: “Culture my ass, Philippines has culture! We want to go swimming”!

Of course we went and yes, we had a very rich cultural experience. As always, my parents know what they’re talking about when it comes to art and culture. Come on, I grew up going to museums and watching plays, pushing us to see Bali "for culture" was really not surprising. 

We were a party of 20, a large group and almost half of which are minors. Having said that, on how deep we dove in Bali’s culture depended on the children’s level of comprehension and appreciation. Also, it was really hard to mobilize a large group and traffic jam had to be considered.

From the moment we landed, I deeply felt Bali’s confidence in their cultural identity. They’re consistent, proud, beautiful, inspiring, non-compromising, distinct. Marvelous sculptures, rigorous rituals both deeply integrated in their daily lives. With the onslaught of tourists, they never faltered. The foreigners that keep on crashing on their shores like their ocean’s hard waves co-existed with their calm, serene, and almost ancient-like way of life.

To be honest, Bali is the first place in Southeast Asia that I have visited apart from my own country, so I guess my opinion on this is from an ignorant’s point of view. Or rather from someone who is Asian but grew up with heavy Western influences. Regardless, I can safely claim that Bali is extremely rich in culture. I’ve been to the United States and to Europe and I haven’t been blown away like this with regards to arts and culture. 

I am glad that we went to this place instead of Singapore or Hong Kong. (Although of course we hope that someday we’ll be able to go there with our kids.) You will realize you don’t necessarily need highly commercialized characters and high-technology rides to entertain your children. One time my oldest son even asked me if he can sculpt soaps when we get home. That’s how Bali art gets to you: it makes you want to touch it, hold it, feel it, and yes, do it. That’s when you’ll know how well the art is – when it has the power to INSPIRE. Going to mainstream Western theme parks will not give you that kind of inspiration.

 

That's my cute nephew who enjoyed being a "local" for a day.

Going to Bali with children is really different. It’s not like they’re diving inside a cartoon channel. It’s showing them diversity in life, depth in culture, and the beauty of nature.

Please do READ ON to know more about our experience and for TIPS:

When Plans Don’t Push Through : A Birthday Story

My husband and I have been together for 15 years and within those years we have never gone out of town as a little family simply because we couldn't afford it. Although we have traveled locally and abroad, they were trips made with my family or with friends.

Money has never been easy for my husband and I. For some weird reason, I have never been motivated to earn more than what a simple life will require. I’m aimless, I procrastinate, I am complacent, I live my life one day at a time. I am not the type of girl who will break my back for luxurious things. (But that’s about to change because I will really aim for Harry Potter World come 2017!). My husband, being a goat through and through (Capricorn and ram), is a person who has long-term goals. He really works hard but what comes in is just enough for us to get by.

But we dream. My husband and I have always fancied traveling as a little family.

About a month or so ago, my husband told me he’s planning an out of town trip for my birthday. I was worried. In my head, I was calculating what we’ll spend. But he assured me again and again that there was nothing to worry about, so off we went.

On the day of my birthday, with no definite plans, we left the hot and sticky city and headed for adventure.

We decided to stay in Subic. An old US Army Base, now a tourist spot, a couple of hours or so away from the city. It was good enough for a family who will do this for the first time. The swimming pools in Subic were not as pretty as we hoped (save for the places where membership is required. Argh.) but that didn’t bring us down. We still checked ourselves in in a very nice and cozy hotel. We went to the local restaurants where my husband and I had been before. We ate to our hearts’ content. Delectable baby back ribs, juicy steaks, chocolate shakes, crepes - the works. We also checked out the duty-free shops, my husband re-assuring us all the way that we can buy whatever we wanted! No, I didn’t take advantage of his generosity, in fact I bought my own goodies, but I really did feel he was spoiling us! We were having a great time.

Until night-time came. We could no longer ignore my eldest son’s coughs. They were getting violent. He was obviously getting weaker and soon enough he had fever. We cancelled our plans to hit the spa for some special massage and instead my husband and my eldest son went to the emergency room at the nearby hospital. He had to use the nebulizer 3x in a span of 45 minutes. That’s how bad he was. 

He felt good right after and we all slept well that night. He no longer coughed and his fever abated. When we woke up we were excited to go to the zoo and ocean park. We were feeling high! But during breakfast, my son’s cough and fever came back with vengeance. And our 1-year old started to cough as well.

We decided, with heavy hearts, to terminate the trip and head back home.

I saw how my husband was sad. I felt his sadness. We didn’t talk about it, but I felt it. I saw the twinkle in his eyes vanish. It was replaced with worry and disappointment. I felt how sorry my eldest son was too. He was feeling guilty and down. But we assured him that he was our top priority, not our trip.

We went home in silence, save for the loud coughs of both my sons. And I reflected… What did this experience teach me? We have waited so long for this but the Universe had other plans. What did it want to teach my little family? There must be a lesson, or a nugget of wisdom, at the end of this failed trip – yes? Is it about money? About how precious time is? About how fragile my eldest son really is? Is it about defining what quality time is?

We were feeling so high, my husband couldn't even sleep properly in excitement days before my birthday. It was a momentous day. Our first time out of town, just us, our little family. We had swimming pools in mind. We had tigers and dolphins in mind. We had shopping and non-stop eating in mind. We were supposed to stay at Subic for at least two nights. We were determined to make it a happy and very special trip.

Maybe it is about handling disappointment as a family. Well, if that's the case, we handled it well and I am quite proud of it. As a family, we knew what to do, we did it properly, we did it together. And that’s what matters most, especially for my birthday, that we, as a family, are united wherever we may be.

First Steps

Everyone's excitement - all a big happy blur.

Everyday he grows. Everyday there are changes. Everyday he learns about this World we live in. For us, most days are insignificant. For him, they’re monumental, critical, crucial, wonderful, beautiful, and magical. Everyday I challenge myself to turn the ‘ho-hums’ to ‘ooohs and aaahs’! That’s the wonder with Children, everything IS ‘ooohs and aaahs’! Adults are boring.

Today my one year old humbled me. As he took his first steps, I was reminded how every little thing for him matters. All the tiny details of the surroundings, every word that he hears, every sound that vibrates around him, every face he sees, they're all forming him to become who he will be.

I was doing the most mundane thing a normal woman would do, grooming nails, when it all happened. Clipping my toe nails juxtaposed with his memorable first steps just really placed things in perspective. The excitement in his eyes, his unbreakable grin, his will to do it again and again, his innocent mirth... it was an ice cold water thrown right smack in the middle of a hot ho-hum day.

I am glorifying my son's milestone by making it a lesson for me: We can still have our "first steps". We all should have excitement in our eyes, unbreakable grins, will to do it again and again, and (not necessarily innocent - hehe) mirth in ALL the things we do. There should be wonder in everything.

Watch his first steps HERE.

Celebrating My Son’s First Birthday

With 8 teeth and still on all fours, my baby celebrated his- eep! time flies so fast! –first birthday last April 13, 2013 at Sta. Elena Fun Farm. He turned a year older but all his guests regressed a year or two as they climbed ropes, rode horses and carabaos, fed rabbits and hamsters, rowed a boat, caught fishes, played trumpo (spinning top), holen (marbles), sipa, jackstones, and Chinese garter. They blew plastic balloons, conquered fear of heights as they rode the zip-line, and so much more. It was indeed a day of fun and laughter.

Kuya felt it was his birthday too, he ran and played all day.

 
Kids and adults shared the day enjoying the same things.

I wanted to have a birthday party that will resound my values and beliefs. I am his mother after all (husband nods head). As much as possible, we made sure everything was rustic, natural, earth-friendly, and handmade. There was this unexplainable and overwhelming want to keep it local and earthy.

Cake that the celebrant's older brother and cousins baked for him.

It was also the day when we blessed my son. We didn’t have a priest nor did we have a pastor just like in our wedding ceremony, but we all prayed and bestowed our deep and pure love on my son. We all enveloped him with our good intentions. It was an ideal “baptismal” rite for my husband and I. It was untainted with religious expectations and it was simple and direct but very spiritual. We also selected a lucky few who will serve as guardians and beacons for my son. We re-defined what Ninongs and Ninangs (Godparents) are. We selected specific people for specific reasons, we explained the reasons and handed them custom-made certificates. We wanted it as holistic, solemn, pure, and non-religion-specific as possible.

Lower pic: Awarding Tita Joni her certificate, she is Jaichi's Guardian of Happiness

My two precious boys!

I guess to encapsulate what I am trying to say is that we celebrated my son’s first birthday without much commercialized, controversial, and artificial materials and influences that may cause distraction or may deviate us from the innocence of the occasion. I didn’t even have blaring music; the party had laughter, excited conversations, and occasional animal grunts, cackle, and crows as ambient sound.

Of course my son will remember none of this, he’ll probably just know this party through photos and my video log. But I am sure that the good vibes, the unclouded and true energy and Love that vibrated that day will forever reside in him.

*If you wish to learn more about the details, or wish to see more photos of the party, please do read on (YouTube Vlog coming soon, please LIKE my Facebook page found on the right side panel for updates! Thank you!)...

Confusing My Son?

My son is familiar with different types of Gods. Norse, Greek, Roman, and yes, the God of Hebrews. He was really impressed with the Norse Gods in particular and at one point in time he declared that he will base his "religion" on Norse mythology.

I just let him. I just let him explore "religion". And I find it amusing.

But one day someone scoffed at me: "What are you doing to him? That's really bad! You are confusing him, those are MYTHS"! This was coming from someone who sends his daughters to a school managed by nuns.

Okay, so to "avoid confusion", shall I subject my son to one particular religion? To "avoid confusion", shall I say there is only one God? To "avoid confusion" shall I tell him to stick to one bible? Ask yourselves, why is our religion based on our parents' religion? To be completely honest, at the end of the day I want my son to be spiritually grounded. I want him to see the enlightened path and to follow that path. He is already 13 and I haven't really given him a push towards that path. Because I want him to discover it on his own.

I grew up as a Roman Catholic. My bestfriend back then was a Muslim princess and I even thought she made that all up because I was in a box. A box that consisted of rigid rules, Heaven and Hell, demons and angels. Where Immaculate Conception and walking on water are not myths. I took the "bread" without fully understanding what it really meant. I sounded like a robot in church, repeating phrases that were empty to me. I was told I was going to "burn in hell" for doing "this and that".

I don't want my son, for the sake of "avoiding confusion", to go with the flow. I want him to swim as deep and as far as he could and I will let him be. I will let him hear all kinds of stories, know all kinds of beings. I will allow him to decide on his own. And I will support his decision.

I will let him be "confused" and I want him to figure it out on his own. Because ultimately, for me, the way one lives is more important than being "not confused".

How Things Can Change

It was a really shaky and stressful start for my little family and I. My husband ever the panic-boy, my older son who had to adjust to the whole scenario, and me who unfortunately have pelvic floor prolapse, somehow managed our high-need baby. Well, he was an extremely high-need baby for the first two months of his life but on the day he turned 2-month old he transformed into a happy smiley baby and from then on, things began to be a lot easier. For that part… because you see, he is not the only one who is undergoing changes…

It is amazing and heart-jerking how 10 months can change us.

My high-need infant is now a jolly, Curious George, classic Kewpie baby who likes to eat and go out of the house. His infant wails and crankiness forgotten.

Within 10 months my sisters-in-law already got themselves new babies.

Within 10 months I acquired many “mommy-friends” through Instagram.

And within 10 months, my eldest son is now officially a teenager.

My son, my teenage son, who I am honestly currently struggling with, is a teenager who I sometimes really think is an alien who took over my sweet child. It is amazing and truly heart-wrenching how 10 months can change us. And sometimes it is not for the better.

I am coping with my teenager the best way I know how and I am truly blessed to have his school and my mother by my side. Is it a trend nowadays? To be so “I hate life”? Or was I like that too when I was young? Do we all really go through that phase, that phase of rebelling? Or did I stumble being a parent to him, too busy with my new baby who is also increasingly different everyday?

After a lot of consultations, it is apparent that puberty is hitting my family hard. From having serious crushes, to locking himself in a room with music on so loud, to slamming the door at my face – it really took me by surprise. It is exactly what I see in movies. And admittedly, it is like how I was when I was at his age. You think the teenagers in movies are exaggerated, but I kid you not, it’s the real deal. Of course I am not generalizing, but lo and behold I have the typical teenager.

His voice significantly changed and he is now taller and stronger – the physical changes went hand in hand with the changes in his behavior and overall attitude. But despite the big change, the baby I know surfaces from time to time asking me for kisses and hugs, dedicating his artworks to me and his dad just because, and questioning why I don’t leave sweet notes for him anymore (I leave notes for him by the door when I leave unplanned).

All the people who are guiding me in this journey insist that my boy is still sweet and very bright and that hormones are just inevitably taking over. We have to ride this wave the best way we know how to make him the person I dream him to be – a compassionate human being.

During this time, I am also evaluating myself. It frustrates me how easily my temper blows. I am also ashamed to admit that there are times when hurtful words fly out of my mouth. This is a time for me to go back and meditate and reflect what kind of parent I want to be. This is a challenge for all of us.

The changes that are going on with my baby is significantly as important and noteworthy as the changes that are going on with my teenager. They are all milestones, all marks in our lives, every little detail vital for our growth.

I am grateful that I stay home with my sons. I watch them both grow, I watch them both tackle every obstacle life has to offer. I am observing them both ever so closely, ready to catch them when they fall, literally for the baby and figuratively for my teen.

I just hope the Universe will grant me wisdom, courage, patience, and strength to guide both of them to be the best person they can be.