Summoning the Sexy You

Disclaimer: my mommy blog is about my children/family. After all, they're the reason why I am a mommy. This post, however, is simply about me. 

The Royal Awkwardness

I was a ballerina as a child, and a lanky basketball player as a teen. Sadly, the result is an awkward adult. I don't exude sexiness, although I try sometimes, it's not who I am. Between giving birth and making an honest living, the Sexy Me (if ever there was a 'Sexy Me') has long surrendered to perpetual hibernation. I do believe my trout pouts a.k.a. duck face and "seemingly brimming with self-esteem" self-portraits are all for show. If you know me in person, I'm 90% geeky-childish-tomboy and 10% trying hard sexy (a.k.a awkward). Might as well call me The Royal Awkwardness. And yours truly had been awkward on a pole.  

Oh yes ladies and gentlemen, I pole-danced. Or rather, I pole-awkward'd.

Oh my, your Royal Awkwardness. You don't even know left from right!
They're ALL facing the other way!

The Dance

Pole-dancing is very physical and it demands the Sexy You. It demands you to stretch and point your toes. It demands you to thrust your milky breasts forward with pride. It demands you to liquefy your hips. It demands you to abandon every inch of your square-ness. It confronts the fact that the female are potent sexual beings, not just people who think of what the kids will eat next, which shampoo is toddler-friendly, and if the mister has sufficient fiber in his diet. It expects you to bring sexy on.

The dance is beautiful. It is fluid and compelling. It is strong and arresting. It summons your Inner Goddess. Within the first hour of trying out this dance, I found myself clapping and laughing, just like whenever my one year old masters a new trick. I believe my hair is shinier and bouncier ever since the dance demanded me to incorporate my mane to the overall choreography. I had it tied in a bun, as per usual, but was asked to make it speak sexy too. Literally and figuratively, this dance wants you to let your hair down.

Moms and Poles

The words "mom" and "pole dancing" aren't exactly the words you'll expect to hear in one sentence. In fact, to some degree, these words are like oil and water. But I guess that's the very point of this class: to prove that mothers can bend, stretch, and twirl around the pole just like any other Jane.

I believe it is one of the few things you should do for yourself as a mother. Dedicate at least two hours in a week to unleash this important part of you. Not for anyone on the bed, but for yourself as you explore and hone this power to perfection. Its potency can make you a complete woman. 

There’s a class specifically dedicated for mothers and it is really heart warming that this kind of dance didn’t overlook “our kind”. We do need to get re-acquainted with our physical-self after enduring pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding.

This class definitely helps you conquer awkwardness, embrace mommy body, and call forth the ‘Sexy You’. By all means two thumbs up from me!

I was like you, my son. I clapped and beamed as I learned new tricks.

Check out my YouTube Vlog HERE!

My last hurrah pose where I literally threw my arm up.
Photo grabbed from fellow mommy blogger Cheska.
Other mommy bloggers in this picture are: Rina, Earth, Glaiza, and Janice.
That's Christine Dy, our bubbly and lovely instructor, wearing Polecats Manila tank top.
___

Thank you PoleCats Manila for the experience! If only you have a studio here down South it would be perfect for me! Check out PoleCats Manila and their offered classes here.

Shout out to all other mommy bloggers who were there at PoleCats Manila’s Blogger’s Day! We survived! Heehee.

On Giving Them What They "Need"

My firstborn, you're thirteen. Challenges are surely coming our way.

“So, do you really need it to be an expensive shoe?!”

And I was met with hot tears.

He didn’t have to answer my question. Of course I can buy him affordable rubber shoes. But what kind of “need” are we talking about here? I know It’s not about the physical features of the shoe. His need for the ridiculously expensive shoe is on a social, hormonal, materialistic level kind of need.

And I completely understand that. He’s a teenager.

I quickly checked my icy self and softened. I hugged him. I wanted him to know that I understand him. Flashback of me crying for hours and hours in our tiny, tiny car because I wanted my father to buy me the latest, the rubber shoes of all rubber shoes: Nike Air Jordan 9. My father kept saying we couldn’t afford it. And I cried endlessly and deliberately. In our car, in our house, practically everywhere he can possibly see me. He struck a deal with me and got me Tretorn instead. Tretorns were the “in” thing back then, but it wasn’t exactly the kind of shoes you would want to be sporting in the middle of a basketball game. I was a varsity player. We were competing in the Women’s Basketball League! I have to have a pair of kick-ass rubber shoes. I cried and cried while wearing my Tretorn until one day, I got my Nike Air Jordan 9. Then 10. Then 11. Then 12. Then 13.

I had shoes that all the boys in my school wanted. Did I become a better player? Maybe. But without a doubt it made my basketball life more fun.

Now I am in my father’s, err, shoes. Karma at its finest. I didn’t know that it’s this hard and utterly heartbreaking when you fail to give what your children ask for. Had I known that it was this painful, I would’ve punched my 13-year-old self in the face. They say you can only understand your parents when you become one yourself. And oh boy is that saying true. 

Alas, parenting has no template. In fact, parents with many children can tell you that parenting one kid to another has to be different to suit each child's intelligence, behavior, temperament, and character. This weekend my husband and I will have to talk to our teen regarding materialism and its effect on people. Hopefully we can shed some light to his "unexplainable needs".

I got him two pairs of affordable shoes for everyday use. Will buy him relatively affordable PE shoes come this weekend.
Will buy him his dream shoes when he has done what he needs to do according to a chart I will make for him.

In my son's school they don't believe in the "reward system" most especially if the reward is very materialistic. But truth be told, this has been proven to be a good system for my son. I have given my son several expensive shoes but all of them didn’t last long. Either he misuses them or his feet would magically grow longer overnight. This time, I really have no money for his dream Adidas shoes, and even if I will close my eyes and spend that much, there’s an ugly feeling that it’s not worth it. To make it worthy I will create a reward chart for him to achieve his dream shoes. He will have to work really hard for his dream shoes.  

Because despite the fact that I am not a materialistic kind of person, I am not disregarding that kind of need. I believe for some people it is supplemental to their overall growth.



___

A Perfect Weekend

The barren land that we are on is only visible in the middle of the year.
The rest of the year, it is under the lake.

We were blessed enough to have another shot of a great summer weekend when an old friend of ours decided to celebrate his birthday in Pantabangan Lake in Nueva Ecija, which is a good 3.5 hours away from Metro Manila. He and his lovely wife invited our little family for the weekend, and despite our superheavymega-grabesobrangdami workload, we decided to go for it since school was about to start for my teen.

And we are so glad we made an effort to go. It is surely one of the best weekends we ever had.

Our two planned summer vacations (Subic and Bali) were a bit hard for us because, as luck would have it, on both trips my boys were really sick. I thank the Universe for giving us another chance to enjoy ourselves under the summer sun with great friends, great food, and a mind-blowing view.

My husband, who is always within the confines of The Big and Nasty Corporate World, melted on the hammock and couldn’t get enough of the view of the seemingly placid lake. I was so happy to see him relax and truly enjoy. He stared at the wild animals which were all grazing within his view, amazed by the dogs that were instinctively herding wild beasts (horses, goats, and cows). I have never seen him so relaxed and happy! My husband is quite the Negatron and quite the ever-paranoid, ever-stressed kind of guy. To see him chilling under the trees brought joy in my heart. He truly deserved that. 

Sitting on top of what is left of an old church, part of a submerged town. Visible only when the water level is low.

My teen soaked up the fresh air and the grand view and decided almost instantly that he loves the place and even declared that he wants to spend his birthday there (too bad this is not possible, his birthday is on New Years Eve). At first I was afraid that my teen would sulk all weekend since adults and three little girls surrounded him. I was wrong. Completely forgot he’s a nature-boy despite his head being full of World of Warcraft, DotA, and MineCraft. Also, his “Kuya-ness” kicked in, he truly enjoyed playing and chatting with our friends’ super cute, super loveable, super adorable daughters.

My baby also had a grand time! He enjoyed exploring a new terrain. It was his first time to truly walk on grass and dirt. At first I thought my control-freak husband would get mad at us for letting the baby sit on the dirt but he was all smiles! He even chuckled when our son did a Jack tumble on a small slope! Our toddler went crazy with the pine cones, he picked (and threw) every cone he saw despite its thorny nature. 

We enjoyed the food which were all lovingly prepared by the birthday boy and his family. We had an array of food - from fresh green salad with Japanese sesame dressing to roasted suckling pig to lobsters from the nearby sea to Tom Yum Gai (Thai hot and sour soup) which were all lip-smackingly good. We even had goat in the form of caldereta (tomato-based stew) and dinuguan (blood stew)! 

After a relaxing full body massage, I had the chance to sit down with our friend and we capped the night with great conversation. Before sleeping, my husband and I talked and reflected for a bit and we agreed that it was only just then we realized how much we missed our friend.

We planted a tree before we left. See you soon, our dear tree!

It is probably general knowledge that when you are a mother, your happiness greatly depends on the happiness of your husband and children (although I am all for the school of thought that we are our own captains of ourselves, therefore SHOULD BE in complete control of our own happiness yadda yadda, but as far as motherhood goes, I guess you get what I am trying to say).  Suffice to say my boys were all really happy = I was really happy. Their happiness mean so much to me and I am really glad that I chose this trip over working non-stop for the weekend. I knew my Monday would be hell (why hello there big-pile-of-work-that-was-neglected-over-the-weekend!) but it was worth it.

I am happy that my husband and I made time for our friend and his family. Weekends like these don’t come everyday (err, every weekend). Don’t be a slave of your “busy schedule”, children grow up too fast, and yet work will always have the same intensity and rhythm. Learn when to say “no” to work and when to say “yes” to an opportunity such as this. I believe they’re gifts from the Universe. Accept graciously, sit back, enjoy.

______________

Thank you to our friend who invited us. Please extend our thanks to your wonderful family. We really had a perfect weekend and we owe it all to you.

Click 'read more' for more pictures!

Bali With Children

The Fam Bam in Bali, Indonesia

My family just came from Bali, Indonesia. The first time we knew that we were going there our first question was: “What are we going to do in Bali?”

 

We have been to the beautiful shores of Bohol and Boracay as a family and we believe they’re better than what we can find in Bali (or any other places in the world to be honest) that’s why we were skeptical. My parents, who are frequent visitors of Bali, replied nonchalantly: “FOR CULTURE”! You know what we said to that? I’m not kidding you, we replied: “Culture my ass, Philippines has culture! We want to go swimming”!

Of course we went and yes, we had a very rich cultural experience. As always, my parents know what they’re talking about when it comes to art and culture. Come on, I grew up going to museums and watching plays, pushing us to see Bali "for culture" was really not surprising. 

We were a party of 20, a large group and almost half of which are minors. Having said that, on how deep we dove in Bali’s culture depended on the children’s level of comprehension and appreciation. Also, it was really hard to mobilize a large group and traffic jam had to be considered.

From the moment we landed, I deeply felt Bali’s confidence in their cultural identity. They’re consistent, proud, beautiful, inspiring, non-compromising, distinct. Marvelous sculptures, rigorous rituals both deeply integrated in their daily lives. With the onslaught of tourists, they never faltered. The foreigners that keep on crashing on their shores like their ocean’s hard waves co-existed with their calm, serene, and almost ancient-like way of life.

To be honest, Bali is the first place in Southeast Asia that I have visited apart from my own country, so I guess my opinion on this is from an ignorant’s point of view. Or rather from someone who is Asian but grew up with heavy Western influences. Regardless, I can safely claim that Bali is extremely rich in culture. I’ve been to the United States and to Europe and I haven’t been blown away like this with regards to arts and culture. 

I am glad that we went to this place instead of Singapore or Hong Kong. (Although of course we hope that someday we’ll be able to go there with our kids.) You will realize you don’t necessarily need highly commercialized characters and high-technology rides to entertain your children. One time my oldest son even asked me if he can sculpt soaps when we get home. That’s how Bali art gets to you: it makes you want to touch it, hold it, feel it, and yes, do it. That’s when you’ll know how well the art is – when it has the power to INSPIRE. Going to mainstream Western theme parks will not give you that kind of inspiration.

 

That's my cute nephew who enjoyed being a "local" for a day.

Going to Bali with children is really different. It’s not like they’re diving inside a cartoon channel. It’s showing them diversity in life, depth in culture, and the beauty of nature.

Please do READ ON to know more about our experience and for TIPS:

When Plans Don’t Push Through : A Birthday Story

My husband and I have been together for 15 years and within those years we have never gone out of town as a little family simply because we couldn't afford it. Although we have traveled locally and abroad, they were trips made with my family or with friends.

Money has never been easy for my husband and I. For some weird reason, I have never been motivated to earn more than what a simple life will require. I’m aimless, I procrastinate, I am complacent, I live my life one day at a time. I am not the type of girl who will break my back for luxurious things. (But that’s about to change because I will really aim for Harry Potter World come 2017!). My husband, being a goat through and through (Capricorn and ram), is a person who has long-term goals. He really works hard but what comes in is just enough for us to get by.

But we dream. My husband and I have always fancied traveling as a little family.

About a month or so ago, my husband told me he’s planning an out of town trip for my birthday. I was worried. In my head, I was calculating what we’ll spend. But he assured me again and again that there was nothing to worry about, so off we went.

On the day of my birthday, with no definite plans, we left the hot and sticky city and headed for adventure.

We decided to stay in Subic. An old US Army Base, now a tourist spot, a couple of hours or so away from the city. It was good enough for a family who will do this for the first time. The swimming pools in Subic were not as pretty as we hoped (save for the places where membership is required. Argh.) but that didn’t bring us down. We still checked ourselves in in a very nice and cozy hotel. We went to the local restaurants where my husband and I had been before. We ate to our hearts’ content. Delectable baby back ribs, juicy steaks, chocolate shakes, crepes - the works. We also checked out the duty-free shops, my husband re-assuring us all the way that we can buy whatever we wanted! No, I didn’t take advantage of his generosity, in fact I bought my own goodies, but I really did feel he was spoiling us! We were having a great time.

Until night-time came. We could no longer ignore my eldest son’s coughs. They were getting violent. He was obviously getting weaker and soon enough he had fever. We cancelled our plans to hit the spa for some special massage and instead my husband and my eldest son went to the emergency room at the nearby hospital. He had to use the nebulizer 3x in a span of 45 minutes. That’s how bad he was. 

He felt good right after and we all slept well that night. He no longer coughed and his fever abated. When we woke up we were excited to go to the zoo and ocean park. We were feeling high! But during breakfast, my son’s cough and fever came back with vengeance. And our 1-year old started to cough as well.

We decided, with heavy hearts, to terminate the trip and head back home.

I saw how my husband was sad. I felt his sadness. We didn’t talk about it, but I felt it. I saw the twinkle in his eyes vanish. It was replaced with worry and disappointment. I felt how sorry my eldest son was too. He was feeling guilty and down. But we assured him that he was our top priority, not our trip.

We went home in silence, save for the loud coughs of both my sons. And I reflected… What did this experience teach me? We have waited so long for this but the Universe had other plans. What did it want to teach my little family? There must be a lesson, or a nugget of wisdom, at the end of this failed trip – yes? Is it about money? About how precious time is? About how fragile my eldest son really is? Is it about defining what quality time is?

We were feeling so high, my husband couldn't even sleep properly in excitement days before my birthday. It was a momentous day. Our first time out of town, just us, our little family. We had swimming pools in mind. We had tigers and dolphins in mind. We had shopping and non-stop eating in mind. We were supposed to stay at Subic for at least two nights. We were determined to make it a happy and very special trip.

Maybe it is about handling disappointment as a family. Well, if that's the case, we handled it well and I am quite proud of it. As a family, we knew what to do, we did it properly, we did it together. And that’s what matters most, especially for my birthday, that we, as a family, are united wherever we may be.

First Steps

Everyone's excitement - all a big happy blur.

Everyday he grows. Everyday there are changes. Everyday he learns about this World we live in. For us, most days are insignificant. For him, they’re monumental, critical, crucial, wonderful, beautiful, and magical. Everyday I challenge myself to turn the ‘ho-hums’ to ‘ooohs and aaahs’! That’s the wonder with Children, everything IS ‘ooohs and aaahs’! Adults are boring.

Today my one year old humbled me. As he took his first steps, I was reminded how every little thing for him matters. All the tiny details of the surroundings, every word that he hears, every sound that vibrates around him, every face he sees, they're all forming him to become who he will be.

I was doing the most mundane thing a normal woman would do, grooming nails, when it all happened. Clipping my toe nails juxtaposed with his memorable first steps just really placed things in perspective. The excitement in his eyes, his unbreakable grin, his will to do it again and again, his innocent mirth... it was an ice cold water thrown right smack in the middle of a hot ho-hum day.

I am glorifying my son's milestone by making it a lesson for me: We can still have our "first steps". We all should have excitement in our eyes, unbreakable grins, will to do it again and again, and (not necessarily innocent - hehe) mirth in ALL the things we do. There should be wonder in everything.

Watch his first steps HERE.

Celebrating My Son’s First Birthday

With 8 teeth and still on all fours, my baby celebrated his- eep! time flies so fast! –first birthday last April 13, 2013 at Sta. Elena Fun Farm. He turned a year older but all his guests regressed a year or two as they climbed ropes, rode horses and carabaos, fed rabbits and hamsters, rowed a boat, caught fishes, played trumpo (spinning top), holen (marbles), sipa, jackstones, and Chinese garter. They blew plastic balloons, conquered fear of heights as they rode the zip-line, and so much more. It was indeed a day of fun and laughter.

Kuya felt it was his birthday too, he ran and played all day.

 
Kids and adults shared the day enjoying the same things.

I wanted to have a birthday party that will resound my values and beliefs. I am his mother after all (husband nods head). As much as possible, we made sure everything was rustic, natural, earth-friendly, and handmade. There was this unexplainable and overwhelming want to keep it local and earthy.

Cake that the celebrant's older brother and cousins baked for him.

It was also the day when we blessed my son. We didn’t have a priest nor did we have a pastor just like in our wedding ceremony, but we all prayed and bestowed our deep and pure love on my son. We all enveloped him with our good intentions. It was an ideal “baptismal” rite for my husband and I. It was untainted with religious expectations and it was simple and direct but very spiritual. We also selected a lucky few who will serve as guardians and beacons for my son. We re-defined what Ninongs and Ninangs (Godparents) are. We selected specific people for specific reasons, we explained the reasons and handed them custom-made certificates. We wanted it as holistic, solemn, pure, and non-religion-specific as possible.

Lower pic: Awarding Tita Joni her certificate, she is Jaichi's Guardian of Happiness

My two precious boys!

I guess to encapsulate what I am trying to say is that we celebrated my son’s first birthday without much commercialized, controversial, and artificial materials and influences that may cause distraction or may deviate us from the innocence of the occasion. I didn’t even have blaring music; the party had laughter, excited conversations, and occasional animal grunts, cackle, and crows as ambient sound.

Of course my son will remember none of this, he’ll probably just know this party through photos and my video log. But I am sure that the good vibes, the unclouded and true energy and Love that vibrated that day will forever reside in him.

*If you wish to learn more about the details, or wish to see more photos of the party, please do read on (YouTube Vlog coming soon, please LIKE my Facebook page found on the right side panel for updates! Thank you!)...